in times like this. i fucking need this space to rant the fuck out of my life.

okay first of all, why isit so fucking hard to communicate with people without giving the wrong impression?

2nd thing, people who are overly caring and concern about me, is a fucking turn-off. and i know i am insensitive, i AM insensitive that's why you shouldn't be doing so. so go do your own business for fuck's sake.

thirdly, i am FUCKING TIRED. yes, it's like i'm tired during weekdays mostly. i will only prefer to go out depending on the kind of situation and mood and the people who are going out.

fourthly, where the fuck is my SE non-cam phone?! kns who took it?! or where did i fucking left it?! knn cannot be magic disappear what! fuck!

fifth, i'm finally addicted to girls.... after SNSD that is. now i'm addicted to SDN48!

I've a short interest span. i tend to forget things that i used to be most interested with, or my usual habits sometimes keep on changing.

Most people think that i'm living a good life right now. that kind of perfect life thingy, BUT NO FUCK YOU, i'm suffering from lots of emotional stress that i always hold them in, probably until one day i will fucking snap.

Whoever who does try to fuck around with my life, fuck you, fuck off pls. i really don't need that extra shit from you. i might just eat poison and jump down one day.

today, my heart is as cold as the winter snow. fuck my life, for the first time in my entire life i complain about such a thing which i've done before every year. why am i becoming like this?

it's damn awkward. i hate the feeling. if only things didn't happen at all in the first place. i know everyone knows about it. but no one gives a fuck about it. it's not being solved because of my own pride and dignity wadever shit. i'm at fault. fuck my life.

i just feel the need to blog.

after talking to a certain number of people, i think i got mindfucked.

CAREER, FUTURE, GIRL

seriously fucked up. i still duno what i'm gonna do after i ORD, i still duno what i want for my future, and girl problems all over the place, i don't want to start on that shit.

ok lah, i've no problems with girl stuff. i don't even care about girls, just that seeing my frens all have girlfriends makes me feel kinda fucked up anyways. but wadever it is, not planning to have one. so far i don't see any potential ones. lol

moving that aside, still got this shithole i have to cover. my future, my career, my hole in my wallet. i still can't devote/lose my life towards this demon called "career"
career = no life
but idk what the heck is "life" to me. sit at home watching porn? fuck it

too many things to think about.

wadever fuck shit happened today, happens. it's real and
idk why but i feel like it's a curse, or isit a good thing actually?? god knows
whether to feel happy or sad, i'm a fucking soldier
tmr's concert, better not screw it up. i should remember how to play all the songs.

everything doesn't go my way for the past few weeks.. zzzz

Had a random thought last night...

what if
singapore got war
and i'm thrown into some infantry thingy
pick up arms instead of my instrument.





bad dream.

IT'S TRUE!

okay fuck'd. i can't sleep, and there's nowhere i can go, so i'll just fucking rant here.....

like seriously i can't sleep right now, i feel so FRESH, and i've to wake up tmr 5.30am, like how??? =(

seriously felt so lost and very very very very weird feeling for my 1st day.
maybe i shall just prepared just in case will have scolding shit, den just heck care and just enjoy the stay there. lololololol

okay, i've got nowhere else to go, this is the best place to actually write long stories. lol

i'm just simply feeling very lethargic to do anything right now.. not even 5BX, not even running, not even taking a step out of the house. go out oso do wat shit?! if there's anything outside that i can do to improve myself, that one i don't mind uhh.. but go out oso will tend to waste my money, plus i'm broke, so kinda not safe to go out. lol

second thing is, i kinda wondered, why people think i'm a bad person? or i'm a dangerous person to be with. okay fuck it luh i don't give a fuck about that, like watever. but people around me aren't too honest enough. so fuck them instead, like to say say only, but actually they duno me well at all =.= plus saying me bad, they're just saying it to make themselves feel better, and it's not of their fault that they can't get well along with me... zzz

and yeah, third thing is, among all of the people around you rite, there are tend to have a few, who had done something wrong to you, and after that became too guilty to either come apologise, or even to come talk normally back to you again. like seriously, fucking assholes. seriously duno what they're thinking =.=

lastly, I REALLY REALLY HATE PEOPLE TALKING AND ASKING STUPID STUFFS. take this moment to really think hard as to what i exactly mean, and try to recall some of your past experiences as examples. if you failed in that, it means that you're fucked up. can't think well enough. yeah i mean it, and you should try harder =)
i can take informal nonsenses, rather than stupid questions. answering stupid questions is like, answering fucking test papers, which have totally nothing to do in real-life experience. seriously. and it wastes my breath, or if chatting, wastes bandwidth. some more need to think, so fuck it, i'm not gonna answer. if i keep quiet, it means it's a stupid question. maybe i should put an alert "stupid question detected" or smth like that =.=

okay one last one, regarding stupid questions. i realised it in many many many many people around. people talk to me, okay i listen. if nothing relevant i'll either just hmm orh okay... if i'm interested to know, i'll be like, "huh wat?? den how?? den wat happens next???" etc etc.... if it's funny den i'll laugh luh of course... and i began to realise that, i don't really ask the "WHY" question.
and why would people ask me "WHY" ???? do you even have the privilege to ask me why?? just keep quiet can?? damn pek chek leh must explain to you all the shit all over again. i'd rather talk to you grandfather story rather than answering your goddam "WHY" okay????



PS: i'm sorry if i've really offended anyone, like seriously. coz i really damn pissed and that's what a blog is all about. so live with it, this is my personality. it's either you acknowledge, and you can beat me up after that, just don't fucking repeat the same shit in front of me again. thanks alot!!!