Weekends, here i come!!! lol
Ahh, i'm so damn bested today. Haha
Had a 5hr nap (lol, doesn't sound like a nap btw, haha)
Den back to downloads and siansation.
Guess i shld just rest more during this weekend. lol

As usual, LATE!
But my Graphic Design teacher is so damn kind to mark the attendance at the end of the lecture, so that she might close one eye for latecomers! Haha
Imagine 8am lesson, and i met Khim in the bus, and i told her my lesson is at 8 and it's alr 10am according to the watch. Lol. That's why she didn't believe me. Haha.

Den after DEP lesson, stupid me messed up wif the recordings of the resistors, if not we could get flawless victory liao. Haha! But we managed to be the first to get the answers correct! Cheers to K too! lol
All of us thought that there's sth wrong wif the resistors. Lol that's why we couldn't solve it. But with help of intelligence, i solved it!!! My table showed correct records according to the circuit reading. Lol

But the teacher said 'The main point is to know how to connect the circuit'.

Dots.

Shit.

Connecting circuits quite the problem to me, but recording and calculating wise i can lah. Haha! Me and K are like indestructible when it comes to Digital Electronics. lol
Just make sure the title stays like that. lol

Addiction II was a success! lol
Great Job, HSSB and Graduating members! LOL
Singing 'Believe' realli makes me feel like a child man! Nice one! haha
Bah, so tired. lol
After watching the concert, i suddenly felt myself again,
The same me since last year, that's wat i had lost so far
Now i've found myself, i'm one step closer into knowing watever passion that i've forgotten, my true self, my true goal.

Band has been my passion, and i'm gonna stick to it, no matter wat. I'm gonna make it part of my life. It's within my blood and soul. That's wat i am since the past 4 years of my secondary school life. A dedicated Trombonist and a Drum Major ranking. I'm certainly not gonna fail this.
I bet it on my pride.

As usual, i was late for PMP, and the teacher dun wan mark my attendance coz i was late for an hour.
Sob sob
Wtfcuk
Den on the way to school my stupid contacts hurt my eyes so much i decided to drop them away, and went blurry during lesson. Haha
So break time went home, with the help of K and Tat to see the bus for me. Haha!
George's lesson was fine.
Den Simon's lesson's was so funny! Thx to Tat's 'Trojan' and Simon's 'format' thingy! hahaahaaahah so damn funny ROFL! lol

Hmm, thinking so, i just remembered tmr got another stupid 8am lesson!
Zzzzzz
Shld i sleep? or shldn't I??
lol
Argh, i'm gonna be so late for GD tmr! lol

Advice of the day:
We are who we really are deep inside our hearts
That's where choices and decisions are made best
That's where our true goal stands
So open up and look deep into it!
To whoever who has lost theirs
No time to hassle, it's time to do so
Coz i just found mine today! =)

Today was a usual, fun and yet the contradicting me! haha
So as usual late for 8am lesson. Zzz
Slept during lecture. lol

Simon's class was boring, i can't understand wad the question was asking about, so i stared blankly and downloaded some Yahoo Widgets during the lab to my lappy. Haha!

Den 2hr break spent on Death Note. Again. Lol
DEP was as usual, did the work, handed in and done!
But den suddenly saw Jokhie and his fren coming into the lecture rm.

Eh? wat's he doing here?
So it was Val who invited them in. Lol
Den after finished with my work i sat next to Joker and pester him awhile.

And as usual he's asking for his 7 bucks. Zzz. I told him to collect from Luntat 6 bucks. lol. Den Tat said he got no money. Wahahah poor Joker. But he's rich so nvm.
Haha!

Den on the way to blk A i was thinking

Go band, dun go band
Go band, dun go band
Go band, dun go band
Go band, dun go band
Go band, dun go band
Go band, dun go band
Go band, dun go band
....................
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

So frustrating man! But ended up contradicting myself, and followed Joker and Val to Blk G. Went into the band rm

And guess wat?
NO INTERNET CONNECTION!
FCUK ADIEAJNDIEKFJEIFASFN!!!!!
Zzzzz
but played Sudoku on Yahoo Widgets. And SOLVED IT! First time! lol

Den had dinner and met the rest of the band members. Guess i can't run away anymore. Haha. Den Hui Min told me about the nice phrase that i told her about. 'The cycle keeps on revolving' which sets her mind thinking. I told her on msn 'Luckily were humans. If we're robots there'll be a big error inside our cyberbrain! LOL'

Den saw Leonard Tan. It's time to get to know him.

Band was fun after all. He realli made me laugh! Haha
He's sure to kick off some laughter! That's wat i was looking for. And of course he's more understandable coz he speaks English! lol finally haha

But still deep down i have many doubts concerning of wat i really seek in band.
The MAIN reason of being in band.
ARGH

I REALLI NEED TO FIND IT


ASAP




Zzz. Tmr got stupid 8am lesson again. PMP. URGH! Shit i'm gonna be so damn late for tmr. lol
But tmr night got Addiction II! Woots! I've no choice but to become usher, no budget to buy tickets. Haha

Right..
Now i'm dead bored.
But i might wanna sleep early tonight.
Tomorrow's 8am shitty lecture boredom.

Thinking hard ytd nite, inside my mind was thinking of this question...
"Wat's my resolve?"
Many answers to that... But there's one major point that i was thinking about,
that made my mind went totally blank.
As dark as nothingness in my mind...
Den my heart suddenly felt cold inside...

I realli AM confused with my world...
The world's round, the cycle keeps revolving, that's our everyday lives.
Wake up in the day and sleep at night, it keeps on repeating, no doubt about that...

But ever wonder? Wat's ur outmostREAL goal for being who you are???

Well some of us may think that we do not have enough this and that, and we do not acquire some skills while others can, and sometimes we even are not proud of our own talents, some of us hated to be in school studying or working...

To think again,
i realli realli think
that it's time to JUST appreciate it
NO MATTER WAT
Bcoz...
It's the world itself...
And we're living in it...
The cycle keeps on running, we can't just stop it...
The only way to emerge
Is through success and victory
To whatever that we're aiming for

Deep down in our hearts....

I'm falling apart..........

Oh my.
Wat am i thinking?
Shld i fall again?
It'll be endless pain if i do so...
Or shld i just put that aside?
Live unloved, uncared and untouched,
and stand up like the current way that i am...??

I went to McD hougang ave 8, coz the hougang green no more McD liao.
So met some old frens working there, i can recognise some of their faces, even though some didn't recognise me. lol
Den i saw this gal.
Chinese.
Like seen b4 lei...
Oh i rmb!
She's a fren of one of my crew friends when i was working at McD last time!

How?
Shld i talk to her?
She's queing up behind me sia...
Better dun.
Later spoil my own face... Lol
Nvm, act as if nth happened...

I wasn't sure it was her oso. I rmbered she was sitting wif one of those delivery guys, den when i entered and start queing she was behind me.
I didn't reliased it until i saw her face!!! And she stared at me!!! OMG! She recognises me man!

I bet she's one of those, not so good behaviour ppl...
But she quite pretty lei, too bad i alr categorised her somewhere else. lol



But...
Haiz...

Sian.

That's the very thing that comes out from
my mind,
my mouth
facing the goddam laptop until tomorrow...

But not to worry, coz i already have many 'emergency backups for boredom'!
But sad to say, it's not gonna be going-outs or hanging around somewhere.
It's still - my laptop. zzz
This time i'm already moving on to Death Note, wanna watch it to burn the boredom.
After today i have to rush up wif stupid VS and play wif some Illustrator shit. lol
Luckily i bought it and have it installed on my laptop already, the installation takes very long and cannot open other programs. lol

I've finished downloading the soundtracks for Death Note. This shld come in handy.
Usually it's a habit - i will get the soundtracks of the songs whenever i watch the anime or an interesting movie which has popular composer or watsoever. hehe

Unfortunately, wednesday will be a tough day for me.
8am - 6pm.

Shit. Wtheck.

My class hates the PMP tutorial lecturer.
I skipped his lesson last week, i'll be dead for sure.
Coz he's too rush over the work, and now i'm far behind.
He didn't even guide us on the 'Perry Primary School' assignment thingy.
I read the notes but i didn't even understand a single shit of wat they're asking me to do.
Not even guides on how to do.
And it is to be handed in by - wednesday.

Shit. Wtheck.

Btw, talking about today, it's a nice weather.
Cold, and it makes ppl wanna sleep. I bet the lecturers felt it too. lol
And that DE lecturer came late as usual. And he also rushes through things.
But his lecture is like the only one that i could catch up. Consider that luck. lol
Den went home and rested as usual. Felt sleepy from just now. haha slept awhile on my bro's bed (coz mine is the upper level of the double-decker, too lazy to go up. lol)
So from now onwards i'll be doing nothing, until to a certain point that i'll ended up continuing Death Note, but for then i'll be just chatting and listening to songs and play some game. Nites

Yay!

Finally the day has ended! Sinfonia 2007 is OVER! lol~
Performance was a success! Sarah was happy so everyone's happy happy and Laoshi CRIED~!!! Omg that was so touching. haha
I got blue flower and a pink flower - Both my favourite colours!!! woots!

But den now i suddenly felt so empty. Coz one thing there'll be no band. Mayb for quite some time i guess. Then i wun be meeting my band mates for quite some time oso, and then i wun be playing my instrument for some time.
I used to curse band so much, but now i miss band so much?? How come seh. Haiyo, i'm so confusing person. lol
But nvm, tmr when i wake up i shall see to wad i've left out, all the work and stuffs... And some issues and matters to be settled. lol
Past few days always come late or nvr come for lesson at all. Haha i sleep like a monster i'm not even up to my senses to wake up on time to come to school. Haha

Haiz. Starting from now i'm the usual lone self liao. Nothing to do liao. Only concentrate on lessons as usual and do my own stuffs.
Next week i shld be chiong-ing my module works. So many times pon oso not fun ah. Must at least do some back-up. Lol. Esp PMP and GD. Skipped for so many periods dunno if i can catch up anot. That'll be how i back-up myself by practising them myself at hm. Hopefully i can do it. Lol

Ok time to sleep. nites
Tomorrow's a new day. Lol

Like i said, i'm bored. And it's 5am liao. Lol
So far, only one fren talked to me till night. Lol
But i'm sian no matter wat. Zzz
So i will create a story inside this blog instead to burn the boredom! Yea!

Why I'm Still Single
I'm a guy, called Shamin. I'm just a typical malay guy who goes to school, eats and watch tv and sleep like a monster. I have friends and i'm a band member. That's all facts you see.

But the main thing that's strucked into my life - people thought i have a *??*, which is false. People who thought that i have are mostly ppl who i just met first time, could be friends or strangers or relatives or some neighbourhood ppl. The same thing that i always hear are those lah. And sometimes it gets realli irritating. Is it that a person like me is sure to have a *??* ?? Or is it that my face tells ppl that i have a *??* ?? Well, i'm not sure, but some people said so. By looking at me firstly they thought that i'm those kind who, you noe, i hate to say it. Lol

In fact, i was supposed to have one. Inside my family, it's like there's a pattern. Half of my family has got *??*. And i'm the only one left. But i dun. In fact i had everything figured out inside my very brain. It's just that the idea had suddenly refreshed inside my mind recently.

I still rmb when my mum told me that my father had many *??*. But my mum has got none. But the funny thing is, none of my father's *??* marries to him. That's how he got an arranged marriage. Lol. And my bro, even damn funny. I once saw his *??* at the carpark on the way to buy drinks at the vending machine when he suddenly saw me and sent him riding away with his motor, leaving his *??* behind, calling him. LOL! That's so stupid and veri -.-". Lol

Well, as for my sister, she was so deeply influenced by ppl around her. And wat's worse, her friends are all the typical malays who dun do things right. That's why i hate malays, coz she's oso one of those naive type. I guess i got similar genes for the influencing part, but i do see reasons b4 getting influenced. Lol
But my sis got a veri long hurtful story, but she's just too stupid and never grow up. I dunno wat's she up to next but shall see how.

Sad to say, i'm a noob when it comes to love. I'm not those 'romantic-type' who dates on a girl and watch the fireworks during the weekend or watsoever. I dun love due to sex, and sex is disgusting to me, so i dun love. If i were to love, i wun be lookin forward to it or work towards it, even though i realli want it so badly. (that's how i fail it once, coz i'm a noob) I realised that i did turn away whenever there's love, the love within me or love towards me. In other words, if i fall in love, i just dun wanna hurt the other party, just in case if the other party already has the guy that she likes, and that'll be even more saddening to me. So i'd rather burn that feeling away before it invades my heart.

I felt that it's the best way to get out of troubles though. Can't be helped. Unless, if there's a love, stonger than it's usual, strong enough to break my suppression, den it might be true love. That's how i feel.

So anyways, watever it is, i'm still single eh? And i felt cool coz it's so cool. No worries, no hassle, and no hesitations!!! I'll just do what i want, and nobody's gonna complain anything. Nobody will care and worry about me, and i'm happy for that. Even if so, there would be my friends and family who'd care for my safety and health, that's all.

If it's true love that we're talking about now, den i shld state my points right here. Like i said i'm UNIQUE. Which means i dun do stuffs like many does nowadays. As a man i believe that we're the ones who supposed to be the ones looking forward to girls. But i dun. That's the freaking main thing i'm still freaking single, and it's a damn freaking thing that i got scolded by many who tried to help me. Lol

Secondly, love doesn't have to be 'i like her' and there goes the chasing.
No.
It's just have to be COINCIDE, under a situation. Dun ask how it is and why.
And being able to COINCIDE, which means there is something there to be discovered, and it's just about to be happening.
It'll only takes place if both parties tries out, both under the same goal. This is wat they call 'giving it a try' while some does dating wif each other, and some talked to each other, doesn't matter in any way, as long as you meet up and 'give it a try', no harm trying.
And then you ask yourself,
'is it love? is there realli a connection between us? will there be future for us?'.
If your heart answers it all,
Then it is.

P.S: It doesn't have to be a guy-girl situation btw, and it doesn't have to do wif bf/gf or watsoever. Love can be anything, mind that.

Runny nose is back! lol sian

Well today is so boring - firstly i wake up in the afternoon - lazy bump!
Secondly i didn't go band - another lazy bump!
Thirdly, my stupid contact lenses expire! What a jerk!
Den i have to buy another new pair, which is freaking waste of money.
I'm realli short of cash, so dun think of getting a girlfriend, think more of getting a new job instead. lol
And my day is spent on more sleeping during the afternoon. WTheck! Zzz

So now i wun be sleeping more, coz i slept until wanna die liao.
So might be sian-ing around and watching shows. Anyone can just entertain me anytime now, but dun talk about going outs and watching movies or anything to do with MONEY coz i hate this world for having money. Why can they swap money into something else, or the amount of 'good deeds' as 'money' in this world, so that everyone will be a better person?? lol

Sian lah, i'm so freaking confused wif this world and life. lol

Talking abt ytd, it was fun! lol
I pon lesson from 8 - 12 which is Graphic Design, and i dunno why the heck they wan us lazybumps to come school so early when ppl like me who is so goddam idiotic enough to watch shows in the middle of the night and slept at 5am almost everyday. Lol

Den i came to school at 12 instead =p. Sat beside pew and do dunno wat shit. Some freaking small resistors which i dun understand, but luckily K showed me the colours and got help in joining the wires. lol. But i think i had pissed the lecturer off, coz i said i didn't come for the lecture. lol

Den Mr.Ang lesson we go watch Bleach. lol. As if there's nowhere else to watch like that. Haha. Den suddenly more ppl came closer to watch oso. lol. But cool ah watching them fight in Bleach. But poor Mr.Ang, no matter how 'cute' he is, nobody listens to his lecture. Lol.

For band, i dunno why i can play well. Mayb coz i went home to do my business, den most of it inside my stomach has been cleared, and my diaphragm is working well, like a super pump. lol. Just like the old days. Yeah!

Still, i dunno whether to perform or not to perform for Addiction II. They say they dun need me as a trombonist, but they say they need a French Horn or sth like that. But too bad, i only specialise in trombone and not Fhorn. lol. Unless if i... Nvm, i wun make it oso. lol

Ok, so i will be online for quite some time now, if anybody is reading this, be sure to disturb me if you have the time! lol

Yeah!

Finally, getting back to blog. Lol
So far so bad, i've been skipping classes and band just to spend more time on my stupid health. It's a waste of time to pamper my weak self but i can't help it. Lol.
I'm super weakling when it comes to being sick. And not to mention my emotional feelings. The inner atmosphere is somewhat unstable, partly coz of my physical recovery, i tend not to supress much of my feelings, letting them spreading away and exposed... Which is bad, but i just wonder... For how long i can supress it, i can't tell...


Someday i might explode, as if a C4 timer inside of me, ticking till the right time to detonate... But i will try my best not to, coz it's disastrous and it'll be uttermost shameful...


So, anyways, i think my brain still haven't right yet. Haha! Talking abt such things, and getting emo for nothing, that's totally not me. Lol.
Well, talk about school, there's nothing much to talk about oso... Firstly it's either too plain, even if there's sth fun, i might forget much abt it, coz my brain can't store anything inside. I felt so stressful and lost in school most of the time, coz there's few who wants to help me... Just like Stand Alone. But i have to strive no matter wat. If not, the ppl arnd me cannot stand too...

Lol... My music's realli got effect in my brain. Currently listening to 'If I Fall - Aqualung'... Lol! Such right effect at the right timing. xDD

I feel soooo sleepy, but just wat the heck didn't allow me to sleep. Lol.
I was wondering y many ppl wanted me to rest when i actually got a mountain of work ahead of me. I noe i'm still not fully well, but i just can't leave my work hanging just bcoz of mayb one cell virus that attcked me?? Lmao. And i just HATE to being sick. One thing to being sick is, that i can't do my work, and it's veri hard to let other ppl understand and give way to sick ppl...

Some ppl might think being sick is an excuse, and it's totally unfair. And what's worse, poly doesn't accept some fancy letter or wat, they only look through MCs, and the cheapest is like, polyclinic?? Lol. And wonder how crowded polyclinic is... If realli i was so sick badly i wouldn't go to polyclinic either... B4 i could get to see the doc, i might've died on the spot... Haha.

That's why i was asking ppl 'If only there's a generous clinic that distributes free MCs without even buying any of the medicines or watsoever for those wif minor sickness... Haha

I rmb on monday i survived school wif two Panadol EXTRA. But i felt frenzy after eating it. Lol. And i can sleep veri easily too... Lol

This will be the official sick moment for me this year. Coz i'm realli got sick and it gets worse unexpectedly... So my immune system is being hacked once again after for so long being so healthy. Lol. But nvm. Just let my bodily functions do the extermination job to those unwanted viruses. Bwahaha!

I'm sick but i dun behave like one sia. Supposedly sick ppl tend to be in bed more and they will take more medicines and they wun do their usual stuffs... But for me, i still sit in front of my comp, i nvr stay in bed much, coz i noe i will sleep like a monster if i do, and i dun wanna do it. Haha! I just hate sleeping alot! lol

So there's nothing much left for me to be able to do than just sitting in front of the comp and watch Bleach! haha! First of all i wanna thank lots to Shamin who had contributed alot in the help in finding the Bleach animes, as well as the other animes... (lol) shit man i'm realli sick... zzzz

Tmr got school, but i dunno whether i'm strong enough to go to school anot, i can't even stand properly, and i totally hate this man. It's totally not myself, this stupid sickness is making me go crazy... So far many things had been screwed up.. And i just dun feel anything but to noe it and do nothing.. If i dun get better by tmr, i'm gonna miss school and band. And that's more screwed up i will get... I will miss alot of lessons and i will get stupider than other ppl.. Lol

Leave the sickness aside, well.. nothing much has happened cuz i've been a stay home boy since friday. sian. Den suddenly sometimes i just felt lonely, but thanks to my dear laptop and MSN entertained me throughout the weekend! Yosh!

Ok that's all for tonight... Lol

Haiz... Stupid sickness. Feel like killing myself... lol
But ytd was good, watched GITS until finish the whole series! There's total of 26 episodes, and i watched from episode 15 onwards... So it's like 5hrs plus?? Shiok! lol

For tonight, i'm not sure whether to continue wif Bleach or watch Otogizoushi or watch Jigoku Shoujo.. Lol so many shows!!! Headache! lol. Usually i was looking forward to save all the shows in case there's a long period of boredom coming on my way in the future... And now that i have a hole load of shows, my disk space is veri low now.

Still got some assignments to do to be submitted next week... Haiz, but it's not too late now. Haha! Mayb i shall see to some of the work later... Lol. Didn't come for school and band makes me feel empty in my head, but can't be helped anyway, if i go, i can faint anytime! haha