i'm never a good person... so face it.

i know right now,
there should be some people who are pissed with me right now. lol

but fuck it.

> > > > Ah Beng to a long-distance telephone operator:
> > > > "Could you please tell me the time difference
> > > > between
> > > > Taipei and Las Vegas?"
> > > > Operator: "Just a minute??"
> > > > Ah Beng: "Thank You," and puts down the phone.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > ================================================== =====
> > > >
> > > > At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left
> > > > tells
> > > > the bartender," JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." and his
> > > > companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
> > > > The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks," AND YOU,
> > > > SIR?"
> > > > Ah Beng replies:" Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED."
> > > >
> > > >
> > > ================================================== =====
> > > >
> > > > After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working
> > > > on
> > > > quite for some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the
> > > > finished puzzle to a friend.
> > > > "It took me ONLY FIVE MONTHS TO DO IT," Ah Beng
> > > > brags.
> > > > "FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG," the friend exclaims.
> > > > "YOU ARE A FOOL."
> > > > Ah Beng replies," NO LAH, SEE THIS BOX, IT IS
> > > > WRITTEN
> > > > FOR 4-7YRS, LEH!"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > ================================================== =====
> > > >
> > > > Ah Beng took part in the Singapore Manhunt
> > > > Competition. During the Q&A segment, the host asks,
> > > > "Name a drink that begins with the letter 'G'."
> > > > The crowd shouts, "Gin! Gin!"
> > > > Others exclaim, "No it's Grape Juice!"
> > > > Another smart aleck yells, "Alamak, Gatorade!"
> > > > Host: "Quiet please."
> > > > Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a hyena before
> > > > replying, "C'mon man, you think I need your help? I
> > > > got more original answer: Guni!"(cow milk in
> > > > Hokkien).
> > > >
> > > >
> > > ================================================== =====
> > > >
> > > > Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using
> > > > it when he encountered some problems. He decided to
> > > > use the 'Help' command.
> > > > After some tries, he became irritated and called the
> > > > computer retailer for support.
> > > > Ah Beng:" I pressed the 'F1' key for help?but it's
> > > > been over half an hour and still nobody has came to
> > > > help me???"
> > > > Computer Retailer:...............
> > > >
> > > >
> > > ================================================== =====
> > > >
> > > > In an English class:
> > > > Teacher: "Class, do you know the meaning of
> > > > parents?"
> > > > Ah Beng: "Yes, teacher, it means father and mother."
> > > > Teacher: "Good. Can you give me an example?"
> > > > Ah Beng: "Sure. Cowboy's parents mean cowboy's
> > > > father
> > > > and mother. Also can say
> > > > Cowboy's father is Cow Pay and Cowboy's mother is
> > > > Cow
> > > > Boo. So together we say Cow Pay Cow Boo (KPKB)."
> > > > Teacher fainted...............
> > > >
> > > >
> > > ================================================== =====
> > > >
> > > > Ah Beng with his two red ears went to his doctor.
> > > > The
> > > > doctor asked him what happened to his ears and he
> > > > answered," I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring
> > > > loh but instead of picking up the phone, I
> > > > accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my
> > > > ear. So kena loh!" "Oh dear!" the doctor exclaimed
> > > > in
> > > > disbelief. "But?what happen to the other ear?"
> > > > "Aiyah! That stoooopid dumbo called back!"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > ================================================== =====
> > > >
> > > > Ah Beng and Ah Seng rent a boat and fish in a lake
> > > > everyday.
> > > > One day, they caught 30 fishes.
> > > > Ah Beng said to Ah Seng," Mark this spot so that we
> > > > can come back here again tomorrow."
> > > > The next day, when they were driving to rent the
> > > > boat,
> > > > Ah Beng asked Ah Seng," Did you mark that spot?" Ah
> > > > Seng replied," Yeah, I put a big X on the bottom of
> > > > the boat,"
> > > > Ah Beng said," You stupid fool! What if we don't get
> > > > that same boat today !?!?"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > ================================================== =====
> > > >
> > > > Ah Beng and Ah Seng exited and locked the car in a
> > > > hurry, forgetting to remove the key which was in the
> > > > ignition. Realizing the mistake, Ah Beng asked," Why
> > > > don't we get a coat hanger to open it?"
> > > > "No, that won't work," answered Ah Seng." People
> > > > might
> > > > think we're trying to break in."
> > > > Then Ah Beng suggested," What if we use a pocket
> > > > knife
> > > > to cut the rubber, then stuck a finger in and pull
> > > > up
> > > > the lock?"
> > > > "No," said Ah Seng. "People will think we're too
> > > > dumb
> > > > to use a coat hanger."
> > > > The "kan cheong" Ah Beng shouted," We better think
> > > > of
> > > > something fast. It's staring to rain and the sunroof
> > > > is open!!!"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > ================================================== =====
> > > >
> > > > Ah Beng serving his NS overseas and far from home,
> > > > was
> > > > annoyed and upset when his girl Ah Lian wrote
> > > > breaking
> > > > off their engagement and asking for her photograph
> > > > back. He went out and collected from his friends all
> > > > the unwanted photographs of women that he could
> > > > find,
> > > > bundled them all together and sent them to her with
> > > > a
> > > > note stating the following:
> > > > "Regret cannot remember which one is
> > > > you...............
> > > > please keep your photo and return the others."
> > > >
> > > >
> > > ================================================== =====
> > > >
> > > > Once Ah Beng , Ah Seng and Ah Lian went for dinner
> > > > at
> > > > the Compass Rose at the top of the Westin Stamford .
> > > > After dinner, they went to the lift scanned the
> > > > buttons and couldn't find the button for the first
> > > > floor. Ah Beng suggested taking the stairs but Ah
> > > > Lian
> > > > decided to press the lift button "G". They found
> > > > themselves on the first ground and Ah Beng remarked,
> > > > "Wah, you so smart, ah. How did you know this was
> > > > ground floor?" Ah Lian replied ," Aiyah so simple
> > > > you
> > > > also dunno! G: stands for gero loh!"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > ================================================== =====
> > > >
> > > > One evening, Ah Beng and Ah Lian went to a lounge
> > > > and
> > > > requested the DJ to play the song "Ah Cheng Buey Lo
> > > > Ti" (Ah Cheng buys bread). The DJ told them they
> > > > only
> > > > played English songs and asked them to request
> > > > another
> > > > song. They were upset and complained to the manager
> > > > that the DJ was insulting them. After many hours of
> > > > calming them down, the manager found out they were
> > > > actually requesting the Righteous Brothers song,
> > > > "Unchained Melody".
> > > >
> > > >
> > > ================================================== =====
> > > >
> > > > Ah Beng and Ah Seng went to a hawker centre. Ah Seng
> > > > noticed the hygiene grades issued by the Ministry of
> > > > Health pasted at each stall and asked Ah Beng, "Eh,
> > > > the 'A', 'B', 'C' and 'D' stand for what ah?" Ah
> > > > Beng
> > > > snorted and said, "Aiyah, this sort of thing you
> > > > also
> > > > dunno! 'D' stand for 'delicious', 'C' stand for 'can
> > > > eat', 'B' stand for 'buay sai' (cannot) and 'A'
> > > > stand
> > > > for 'Alamak'!"



Credits to hardwarezone... XD

Once there was a wedding dinner. The dinner occupied one half the restaurant.

The other half was occupied by some Caucasian tourists.

As the wedding couples hop from table to table to toast the guests, the cheers of "KAN PEI" (Mandarin version of 'bottoms-up' - due to happy & joyous drinking) gets louder and louder.

One Caucasian gets more and more irritated as the couple get closer to him. "KAN PEI" ....."KAN....PEI"....!!!" The cheers continued.

Finally, the irritated Caucasian couldn't take it anymore.

He stood up on his chair and shouted. "IF YOU CAN'T PAY, THEN LET ME PAY FOR YOU!"

SEX WHEN YOU'RE 100

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother to comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today."

Ah Seng wants to make love with Ah Lian but he is
afraid that Ah Lian will get pregnant, so he
approaches his friend Ah Beng for advice. Ah Beng
said "Aiya, very easy one lah. Nah, take this packet of
condoms and follow the instructions, nothing will
happen one." So Ah Seng takes the condom and at night
makes love with Ah Lian.
Two months later, Ah Seng comes to look for Ah Beng
and tells him that Ah Lian is pregnant.
"Cannot be what, did you follow the instructions or not?" asks Ah Beng.
"Na -bei! Got lah. The box says "Stretch the condom
over organ before intercourse, I got no organ, so I
stretch it over my piano loh."

Yay like finally i got a way to express my feelings at work!!
which is thru blog! muaahahah

and yeah, damn bored as usual and imagine doing work early in the morning, where you're half-awake, tired like hell and your mind is shut down and then you're listening to instructions and explanations and start doing work.... =.=!!!

Ok wadever it is, it's 1 plus hours to go home... and i shall probably start configuring twitter or something liddat? only then people can communicate with me... and pls entertain me plz i is farking bored like mad >_<

k thx bai!